I make my living, spend my days and use up a lot of my recreational time helping to motivate other people - because that's what I love to do! I'm sure many people think that because I can motivate others - I have no problem motivating myself...but the truth is, I need a push every now and then just like anyone else.
I often encourage my clients and class participants to remind themselves of their goal. Why they showed up for class, or signed up for training, or registered for that race to begin with. I tell them to recommit to the goal and the reasons behind it when they start to feel tired or unmotivated.
So, it is very frustrating for me to find myself unmotivated, discouraged and having difficulty remembering why I set out on this journey to begin with. It happens, it's normal, but it feels pretty crappy. It is especially frustrating because it hit me at the end of a week that was actually pretty good. I was released from Physical therapy, I am back to 75% of normal weight on deadlifts and 70% of normal squat weight, and I'm teaching all formats of classes again - all huge steps in the right direction! BUT...
I am 5 weeks out now - and should be feeling really good about my progress. I should be feeling a renewed push towards the end. I mean, 15 weeks of this are already behind me!! Instead, the changes in my body have come to what seems like a screeching halt. I am tired and hungry and asking myself why - if I can't keep dropping the pounds - am I continuing to do this. And then the second-guessing yourself starts to drive you crazy!! Why am I doing this? Should I be doing this? Do I WANT to be doing this? Wouldn't it be easier to try this another time? When the kids are older? When hubby is home? If I just throw in the towel now, I could EAT!! What I want. Now.
BUT, there it is, that crucial thought. Throw in the towel? Give up? Quit?
NO. Not an option. As frustrated and unmotivated as I am feeling right now, I know that I don't want to have to admit that I quit. Some days that's a matter of principle, some days just a matter of pride - but either way, it is the one thought that will keep me going. As much as I don't want to go spend 80 minutes on the treadmill - because lately it feels pointless - I will. I will put on my gym clothes, grab the ipod and get my ass to the gym. I will battle the demons in my head and ignore the voices telling me to blow it off "just this once". Because I know that if I can ignore those voices enough days in a row, then eventually, I will find my motivation again. I will remember why I started this and how important it was to me.
So if you're looking for me, I'll be at the gym. Feel free to stop by the treadmill and keep me company for a few minutes - I'll be there a while!
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